At the beginning of the year I promised myself that I would take every opportunity to help myself grow, as a person, as a blogger, as a self-starter, you get the gist. And while this is a very positive mindset to have when entering into a new year, it is so much harder than it sounds.

Olive & Oak - Life, Set Sail
Olive & Oak - Life, Set Sail
Olive & Oak - Life, Set Sail
So what happens when you’re introduced to new challenge? Because, let’s face it…not every opportunity for self-growth is going to be one you’re comfortable with. In true new Brittany spirit I become a nervous ball of anxiety. Thoughts of self doubt enter my mind and suddenly I am 16 again…standing in choir with my mouth shaking as I’m being put on the spot to perform in front of my peers. Side note, I dropped out of that class. I don’t even know how I managed to nail the audition in the first place (though that is one moment I’m still very proud of).

For me, there is one challenge I’ve been faced with time and time again over the years. That is, public speaking (in any form), which is to be avoided at all costs.

The funny thing is that I used to be quite the performer, dancing solo in front of hundreds of people without even an ounce of stage fright…but put a camera in front of me, try to get me to say a few lines and that’s the thing that breaks me? Something seems off here.

And it’s not like I don’t want to be good, I want that very much. But I have this diluted sense (or rather obligation) to be perfect and that’s an unfair expectation to put on myself.

In the upcoming weeks I have a small opportunity to revisit my old nemesis, video content. And really guys, this should not be a big deal at all, but for me…I’m terrified. And I hate to admit it because it just makes it that much more real.

So what am I going to do about it? For starters I’m going to try (very hard) not take myself too seriously. I am not a model. I am not an actress. I am a wife and a blogger that just so happens to be very passionate about what I do. I am goofy, and a little weird, and full of imperfections. But, when I think about the people I look up to the most, so are they.

At this point I am just trying to not take myself too seriously…after all, there’s nothing a good edit can’t fix, right?

What do you do to help banish self doubt? I could use some tips!

xx -b.

dress: c/o olive and oak // bracelet: cinder and sage
-photos by milton photography