Lifestyle

LEARNING TO BANISH SELF DOUBT

Olive & Oak - Life, Set Sail

At the beginning of the year I promised myself that I would take every opportunity to help myself grow, as a person, as a blogger, as a self-starter, you get the gist. And while this is a very positive mindset to have when entering into a new year, it is so much harder than it sounds.


Olive & Oak - Life, Set Sail
Olive & Oak - Life, Set Sail
Olive & Oak - Life, Set Sail
So what happens when you’re introduced to new challenge? Because, let’s face it…not every opportunity for self-growth is going to be one you’re comfortable with. In true new Brittany spirit I become a nervous ball of anxiety. Thoughts of self doubt enter my mind and suddenly I am 16 again…standing in choir with my mouth shaking as I’m being put on the spot to perform in front of my peers. Side note, I dropped out of that class. I don’t even know how I managed to nail the audition in the first place (though that is one moment I’m still very proud of).

For me, there is one challenge I’ve been faced with time and time again over the years. That is, public speaking (in any form), which is to be avoided at all costs.

The funny thing is that I used to be quite the performer, dancing solo in front of hundreds of people without even an ounce of stage fright…but put a camera in front of me, try to get me to say a few lines and that’s the thing that breaks me? Something seems off here.

And it’s not like I don’t want to be good, I want that very much. But I have this diluted sense (or rather obligation) to be perfect and that’s an unfair expectation to put on myself.

In the upcoming weeks I have a small opportunity to revisit my old nemesis, video content. And really guys, this should not be a big deal at all, but for me…I’m terrified. And I hate to admit it because it just makes it that much more real.

So what am I going to do about it? For starters I’m going to try (very hard) not take myself too seriously. I am not a model. I am not an actress. I am a wife and a blogger that just so happens to be very passionate about what I do. I am goofy, and a little weird, and full of imperfections. But, when I think about the people I look up to the most, so are they.

At this point I am just trying to not take myself too seriously…after all, there’s nothing a good edit can’t fix, right?

What do you do to help banish self doubt? I could use some tips!

xx -b.

dress: c/o olive and oak // bracelet: cinder and sage
-photos by milton photography

 

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  • Great post – I’ve been on the lookout for books that encompass this kind of topic, self-empowerment and “good vibe” kinda stuff. We’ve got this one lifetime to do whatever we want, and working hard at something and anything that may give us just a slight boost in attitude and morale, is worth doing. Good luck! You’ve got this. :)

  • You’ve got this my love. I completely understand the fear. I’ve been putting it off forever, but it will get more comfortable and I *know* you will be good at it.

    • Ahh thanks Hols! It’s funny because when I put up my first YT videos everyone was SO encouraging and kind…and I know they were with yours too. We are literally our own worst enemies lol. xx

  • Beautiful photos Brittany! There is definitely a fine line between challenging yourself and growing as a result, and doing things you don’t like for little benefit. Maybe you just weren’t meant to public speak? That being said, if you do think it is a healthy and productive stretch for you, I’ve got two tips. One is that practice makes perfect, so what if you created some video content that no one sees until you’re comfortable? Stage the more frightening event, so when it actually happens you’ll be more experienced and therefore more relaxed. The next is to only take on topics you are an expert in. I used to do Breakfast Television segments about trends and styling, but that isn’t my specialty or passion. When it came time for me to talk about my designs it felt so much easier because I was so much more comfortable with the content. Good luck with your work and let me know when it goes live!

    • Thanks Anneke! i totally agree, if I didn’t think it was something that would benefit me as a blogger I would just pass – but unfortunately blogging these days seems to go hand in hand with video content. It is something I definitely want to get more comfortable doing as it can open up so many more opportunities. Thankfully there will be people there i know and am fairly comfortable around, I’m just trying not to get too worked up about it and going over the main points/steps I need to get across. xx

  • Claudia

    I can totally relate to this! I too used to be a dancer and always loved being on stage, but for me it’s meeting new people, a blogging event actually terrifies the life out of me and I have declined every invite unless I can drag someone along with me. Public speaking also freak me out, just no! Good luck with whats coming up, I’m sure you’ll be fine and if you’re like me, afterwards you will think..”okay that wasn’t actually so bad” xxx

    • Oh man, tell me about it! I still get nervous gong to events if none of my other blogger friends are there (thankfully this is usually not the case). But when you’re new, it’s so difficult putting yourself out there! Thanks for the encouragement girl :) xx

  • I can totally relate. Public speaking is hard. The good thing about video’s is that you can always retake them. Also, I love when youtubers are goofy. People can be way to serious and I much prefer if they let their personality shine through :)

    prettyneutral.com

    • Haha, totally! Thank god for editing lol. And yes, I completely agree, I personally like the goofy people the best too 😉 xx

  • There is too much pressure to come across as perfect but I love that you amongst some other bloggers come across as REAL PEOPLE. Just be you, and you’ll come across as real and honest and perfectly imperfect in that video content too. Banish the self doubts by believing you are an amazing person and you inspire others by being your true self, a little nervous is okay though, that’s exciting! Good luck!

    love,
    Margot

    http://www.aheartyhome.com

    • Awe, thank you for the lovely compliment! It’s funny that we all feel this pressure, but what people actually enjoy is listening to others they can actually relate to – i.e. not perfect robots! xx

      • So true!!!! I love that you’re not a robot!

  • I’ve been struggling with self-doubt too! And honestly, public speaking is something I’ve hated and dreaded ever since I could talk. I hate it. No matter how much practice I do and how prepared I am, I still cannot do a speech in front of numerous people without stuttering and being nervous. I still do it anyway just because I strongly believe that with each speech I do, it helps me to do better next time. It’s always good to get out of your comfort zone. I do tours for the college I work for and even speaking in front of just 8 people makes me nervous but I continue to volunteer and do the tours because it will help me with public speaking, slowly but surely. I just keep telling myself that things could have been worse and that it’ll be over before I know it. So that kinda helps me with my tours. This was a wonderful post to read. Good luck with everything! :)

    http://www.llindatt.blogspot.com

    • Good for you for keeping with it! I definitely agree, stepping out of your comfort zone now and then is a good thing and one that will only help you grow as a person! Thanks for the encouragement Linda :) xx

  • This is such a wonderful post! I’ve been really struggling with self-doubt lately and it’s so hard, especially when it comes to blogging :(

    hellomissjordan.com xx

    • Thank you Jordan! Yep, I can totally relate haha, hang in there girl 😉 xx

  • Whenever I’m facing self doubt, I try to concentrate on what’s next and tell myself that whatever it is, it’s probably for the best and in many cases, that I have nothing to loose.
    I wish you the best of luck with this experience dear, I know you can do it! Tell yourself that it could be worse, if you weren’t a native english speaker for example haha 😉 xx

    myslumberingheart.com

    • Thank you Léa! Haha and you’re right…good thing I speak English lol 😉 xx