Let me be honest, this was not the post I intended to write. Sometimes you can plan things out, but for me it takes actually seeing photos (or often having a discussion) to inspire what I write. I like things to mesh and, if you haven’t caught on already, I really like to tell you how I feel about things.
Last night when I was taking these photos with Chris (for a very exciting Hawaiian Tropic campaign on Instagram), we got talking about something I’ve been struggling with a lot lately. This is not something totally exclusive to me, this does not make me special or important, this is something every human on the face of the earth struggles with…and that is comparison.
If you know me personally you know that I am a) an extremely stubborn person and b) very hard on myself (thank you for loving me anyway). I am a perfectionist to the core and even though I may like to appear carefree on the outside, my mind is always running a mile a minute. I’ve dealt with stress and anxiety a lot over the years, but thankfully this is something I’m getting a better hold of.
One thing that I’ve been struggling with in particular is comparison in a creative aspect. I love working with talented people and stretching myself creatively, and most of all, the discussion that comes from it. But, I can’t help but look at what other people are putting out there, how incredible some of it is and how I want that and so much more for LSS. I feel like I have always been a decade ahead of myself in life, never able to truly enjoy the moment because I’m too busy living for the future. Oh yah, did I mention how impatient I am too?
I’m not going to say that every time I see an amazing photo on Instagram it destroys me, far from it actually. On the contrary, I am often inspired and quick to give praise. I know how hard it is to create fresh and new content and I admire those who appear to do it so effortlessly, because I know this is not the case. It’s the same thing as when I was a dancer – you can spot how good someone is by how effortless they make their art seem, because you know the countless hours spent to make it look that way.
I’m still trying to figure out who I am. I’m not a photographer, I’m not a model, but I do know that I like to be a part of creating beautiful and thoughtful content. I aim to inspire as others have inspired me, whether it be through a photograph or a few words of honesty.
The other thing I know is that I need to stop taking myself so seriously. Life is constantly changing and if you don’t take a moment to appreciate the things you have now then you will never be able to be happy.
Speaking of appreciating things, let me share some news with you…
We have signed the lease on a new apartment in the city and are moving in June first! I’m so happy for the fresh start and to be able to live in a more central location so close to everything, including my friends and the beautiful park photographed in todays post.
Thank you to my friends (you know who you are), who’s words always inspire and encourage me. I cannot imagine a life without these likeminded people to talk to. Sometimes it just takes talking to someone who gets it to lift you out of a funk, because really, we’re all in this together.
shirt: gentle fawn // shorts: free people // shoes: converse // bracelet: stella & dot // rings: keltie leanne and hart + stone //earrings: vrai & oro
-photos by chris amat–